During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
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getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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