I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
