your room smells of hookers.
And success
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
