Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
