I think I am morally bankrupt
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
