I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
