In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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