Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
