Pappa wants mamma naked
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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