Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
a search helicopter?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
