Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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