Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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