He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
