her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
