You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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