I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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