I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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