I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
