I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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