the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize