Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
