he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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