Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
