it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
