Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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