I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
