I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
