can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
