WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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