Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
