you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
