come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize