some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
