You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
