a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
