I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
