Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize