We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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