I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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