i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
