Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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