i think i have two assholes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
