i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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