Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
