sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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