I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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