There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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