Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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