Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
