6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
