ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
