you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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