i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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