Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
