Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
