u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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