Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
