Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
