We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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