"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
