you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
